A Guy on a Soap Box - Tainted
February 07, 2011
Some nights can only be described as epically dirty. The kind of nights that wind up in sleazy motel rooms with strange women after hitting up the strippers, reeking of alcohol and banned foliage. Your clothes would be stained with somebody's blood and you'd party until noon while
sirens blared outside as the police chase some poor bastard down the street. Kind of like every Guns'N'Roses music video ever made. The kind of nights that make your mother pray for your soul when she accidentally sees the aftermath. That's what Tainted reminded me of. I'm not going to bore with you talk about dynamics and key changes, the bottom line of it is that they'd make a great soundtrack to that night you wish you could remember because you woke up with your face stuck to a beautiful woman's hair in a place you've never been.
Tainted, flat out, sounds like hard rock in its purest form. Despite a relatively low number of shows under their belts they showed off some considerable skill and attitude by blasting our ears with non-stop, head-banging machismo. The vocals were ballsy, the guitar riffs were mind-blowing, the drums were like machine gun fire, I freaking loved it. They actually kind of made me think of Nickelback. Now, before you lynch me for saying that, let me explain: Nickelback tries to sound like the essence of sex, drugs and violence. They know that the noises borne of cheap motels, fast women and broken bottles sell records so that's what they try to put into their music. Tainted, on the other hand, actually DOES sound like the score to those epic nights that finish with bruised knuckles and a motel room floor covered with empty bottles, used condom wrappers and passed out women with flexible morals. The only gripe I have about Tainted is that they play too many covers. They did a great job of putting their own twist on other bands' songs though, which gives me hope that they'll release an album of original songs.
Their next show is March 28th at the Victoria Inn in Niagara Falls for the Sick Kids Foundation. Mark that on your calenders and figure out how you'll get there so you can rock the f*** out for a good cause.