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Audio Toyes #9 - Dealing with Failure

Brian Toye
February 15, 2011



High school does a great job (in some cases) of preparing their students for succeeding in university and in life. One thing high school does not touch upon (at least within the curriculum) is the fact that failure is a part of life and how to deal with it. I have never seen someone 1) become the person they wanted to be 2) with the job they wanted to have 3) surrounded by the people they wanted to be surrounded by without first failing in their attempt to get there. For some of us who are driven to succeed, failure is something you'd rather not waste time thinking about. However, it is on its way and will soon cross your life’s path. We put all our time and effort into something and when it does not pan out the way we expected we remain blind and cannot even recognize failure. We postpone the acceptance of failure and begin to blame other people for things not working out the way they had planned. This is not productive behaviour and usually results in a lowered level of well being and depression. Some people are so shocked and embarrassed by failure that they never get back up on their horse to try again. I think it is important to reiterate the fact that failure IS A PART OF LIFE and thus explain how to deal with it. First of all, DON,T BE SO HARD ON YOURSELF. Feel proud and take comfort in the fact that you worked hard and used your skills as best you could. Take with you all that you have learned from the whole experience. Realize (and don’t expect it to) that the world does not stop turning when you fail. Everything goes on normally, your corner store still opens and closes with its regular hours and your cell phone bill still comes in on the same day each month. Don't get down on yourself because the world has not stopped to say “Oh, I am so sorry that didn’t work out for you, here take a helping hand”. In other words, don't fall into a depression, don’t be hard on yourself, don't allow embarrassment to creep in, and accept failure instead of replacing it with other excuses to avoid the embarrassment that should not exist in the first place. Finally, DO get back on your saddle and pursue your next goal.

I think that simply having spent ten minutes pondering these realizations should prepare an individual for the time he/she is faced with failure. Whether it be failing out of a University program or bankrupting a business you tried your best to grow. Take a day to reflect. Then get back on that thing called LIFE.

Remember, if you stay humble then there is nothing to be embarrassed about when you fail.

“I am responsible for my own downfall, where as others are responsible for my success.”

and remember that quote when u finally do succeed.

Work Hard. Stay Humble. Give Love. Receive Love. Surround yourself with like-minded individuals.

-Brian Toye-